It’s suicide prevention month. Let’s talk about healing depression, anxiety, and low self-worth in motherhood.
About the Podcast Episode
September is Suicide Prevention Month.
It’s so important that we talk about this to reduce the stigma, especially among moms.
Moms experience the added burden of worrying that people will think we are unable to be mothers because we have mental health challenges.
What we need is help, not judgment.
In this episode, I share tips and strategies you can use to work on healing your depression, anxiety, and low self-worth.
I used to have severe postpartum depression and anxiety, and what I share in this episode helped me get out of that darkness and get on the path to healing.
If you found this episode helpful, please share it with a friend. Thank you!
CRISIS AND MENTAL HEALTH RESOURCES
Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (U.S. only): Dial 988 or go to 988lifeline.org
National Maternal Mental Health Hotline (U.S. only): Call or text 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262)
Postpartum Support International: Call 800-944-4773, or Text “Help” to 800-944-4773 (English); text en Español: 971-203-7773.
Blog Post Version of the Episode
I have personally experienced suicidal ideation, postpartum depression, and postpartum anxiety. I am also currently diagnosed with PTSD and major depressive disorder, and I am in treatment for that. So, I know a thing or two about learning how to overcome and manage life with mental illness.
I’m also a mom of two kids, and I work a full-time, senior role at a national non-profit.
In my 10+ years of healing and working on living with mental illness, I’ve learned a lot.
And since it’s Suicide Prevention Month, I want to share some of my top tips and advice to help you take better care of yourself because you deserve a life of hope, healing, and happiness.
#1: Suffering all the time is NOT normal.
Suffering, feeling worthless, feeling sad all the time, feeling anxious all the time, is not normal. It may feel normal to you because you’re used to living with this.
But you need to know that an easier, happier, lighter life is out there for you. You need the right combination of treatment and support to get you through this. You need to seek help.
#2: Don’t wait until you feel worthy of help to get help.
Don’t wait until you feel worthy of help to get help.
This is one of the biggest mistakes I made, especially as an abuse survivor, my self-worth was already very low, and I didn’t feel deserving to ask for help.
But when I hit rock bottom, I realized I needed to take care of myself and ask for help even though I didn’t feel worthy of it. And to my surprise, through self-care, my self-worth started to build, brick by brick, day by day, and I started to feel worthy and deserving of support and care.
So, care for yourself and advocate for yourself even when you don’t feel like you don’t deserve it. Eventually those actions will build up your self-worth, your self-care, and your self-advocacy skills.
#3: Don’t go through it alone. Healing is a community journey.
Find a therapist. Find a coach. Find a support group. Find a friend who is on a similar journey as you. Whatever you do, don’t go through this alone.
Some of my greatest healing, especially when trying to navigate my pain as an abuse survivor, happened when I went to a support group being surrounded by other survivors who understood exactly what I had been through.
There was no judgment; no questioning of my experiences; no pressure to prove how bad it was. They just believed me. And that healed something in me that I can’t even put into words.
Support groups, coaching, and therapy have been transformative for me. I would not be where I am today if it wasn’t for people helping me get to where I am.
If you want to heal, you have to reject the “rugged individualism” that is so prevalent in Western Society. We literally need each other. Our lives depend on it.
And if you’re thinking, “Well, that’s nice, Mia, but I can’t afford therapy or coaching.” First of all, that’s fair. Therapy and coaching is getting more and more expensive and insurance isn’t great either. However, the therapy and coaching I’ve had the opportunity to participate in has all been funded either through government grants or philanthropic grants — meaning I barely paid a cent for it. It was free.
How did I find these programs? I searched, asked, called — in short, I advocated for myself. I kept seeking it out, and I found it. So, don’t give up. Help is out there. Don’t be afraid to ask for a sliding scale. See if there’s a social worker in your area or at your doctor’s office who can find a program for you (that’s literally their job). You can do it. Find that support system. You deserve it, and you need it.
#4: Don’t try to master everything at once.
A lot of times when I work with clients who are ready to do the work of healing their trauma and making progress with their self-care, they try to build these massive morning routines, or they set a lot of goals for themselves all at one time.
Don’t do this. This is a recipe for failure and disaster.
You need to take this one step at a time.
Where do you start?
You start with one cornerstone practice.
A cornerstone practice is the one self-care practice that creates a domino effect on the rest of your self-care. It builds momentum without you having to use so much willpower.
For example, sleep is a major cornerstone practice for me. When I sleep well, I’m more likely to exercise. When I exercise, I’m more likely to eat a healthy breakfast and take a shower. When I shower, I’m more likely to get dressed for my day, which makes me feel good about myself and makes me a more positive mom, wife, and co-worker.
But here’s the thing, getting quality sleep can be really hard to get, especially if you have PTSD like I do. So, right now, I’m doing all I can to improve my sleep. I’m taking medication. I’m working with a therapist. I’m building a bedtime routine. And I’m doing a progressive muscle relaxation meditation before bed. It’s a whole thing, but sleep is important to me, so it’s where I’m focusing all of my willpower right now; rather than spreading out my willpower across a bunch of things.
#5: Embrace the messiness of healing.
A lot of my clients struggle with perfectionism, which is understandable. A lot of the women I work with grew up in chaotic homes where they were tasked with keeping the order and the peace at the expense of their own well-being.
The issue that comes from this need for constant order and perfection is that it’s the opposite of what the healing journey is like.
Healing is messy.
There are peaks. There are valleys.
But please remember that just because you’re in a valley, and you don’t feel like you’re making progress because you feel low energy or sad, doesn’t mean you’ve “fallen off track.” The track is on the peak AND in the valley. You didn’t magically fall off the track because you’re experiencing the very human, very natural, very needed emotions of struggle, pain, grief, or sadness. In fact, those emotions are important to your healing process because what happened to you shouldn’t have happened to you, and it’s important to let yourself grieve that.
And one more note on the messiness of the healing journey. You need to know that there is no single morning routine, medication, or any one therapist, coach, or support group that will solve all of your problems. It’s almost always going to be a combination of things. This is both okay and normal.
So learn to embrace the mess — one day at a time.
The No Longer Last Journey™ Podcast
Personal stories, inspiration, and advice to help moms prioritize their health, happiness, and well-being — hosted by Mia Hemstad.
Hi there, I’m Mia Hemstad!
I’m a mom, abuse survivor, self-care coach, and the founder of The No Longer Last Journey™ — a movement to empower mothers to make their health, happiness, and well-being a priority.
I’m also a maternal mental health policy advocate, and I live with PTSD and depression.
I love helping moms make their health, happiness, and well-being a priority!
If you’re ready to start your No Longer Last Journey™, here’s how I can help you!
4B Self-Care Framework© [Free Guide]: A great way to get started on your self-care journey, this guide provides an easy-to-use framework that makes self-care actually supportive rather than another burden on your to-do list. Get the Guide →
Rituals that Replenish Workshop [one-time payment of $50]: This DIY 3-hour workshop (1 hour per week) will help you get to know your true wants and needs and will help you develop the habit of practicing one self-care ritual in your daily life. Learn More →
The No Longer Last Journey™ Program [$75 a month for 12 months or a one-time payment of $750]: This 12-month program includes monthly coaching & community calls, classes, reflection guides, and weekly self-care reminders to help you overcome obstacles, improve your self-worth, and make self-care a sustainable and supportive part of your life. Learn More →
Check out more on the blog!
