One of my biggest regrets in life.

Hey, can I be real with you about something? I’ve never told this story before, but when I sat down to write today, it was telling me it needed to be shared. So, here goes…

One of my biggest regrets of my teen years and early 20s was constantly putting off what I wanted and needed to be happy, which was always dance for me.

I regret this because putting off what I truly wanted and needed to be happy and whole made me really sick and caused me to make a lot of life decisions that were not aligned with what really mattered to me.

Let me elaborate.

Did you know I was a dancer? I danced informally in my mom’s dance company for 7 years. I loved to dance SO freaking much. I didn’t start formal ballet classes until I was 18, when I had saved up enough money from housekeeping to afford 2 classes a week. After 6 months, I was promoted to pointe shoes. If you know anything about ballet, you know that’s a big deal.

I ordered my pointe shoes, and they came in just a few weeks before I was supposed to go to college. I worked extremely hard since I was 14 years old to get scholarships, a high SAT score, and good grades to get into a college. I slept an average of 4 hours a night because of all the work I was putting into academics on top of all the responsibilities I had at home.

My hope was that I would graduate, get a great job, work my way up, and save my family from financial hardship.

Seems like a noble, selfless goal, right?

I thought it was the right thing to do — ignore what my heart, mind, and body were telling me they needed for the sake of a “less selfish” goal.

My ballet teacher who promoted me to pointe came up to me after class one day and said, “I know you’re on your way to college, but you might want to consider staying or at least continuing to dance while you’re over there. You’re extremely talented and naturally gifted at this. I’ve never seen someone move up to pointe so quickly and at your age.”

I thanked her for the compliment, but I told her I “had to go” to college.

I was really intent on helping my family, but little did I know that it would come at the cost of my own health, happiness, and well-being.

Fast forward. I went to college. If you knew me then, you would have seen someone who looked like she had her shit together — like ALL the way together.

I was at the top of my class the entire time, and I graduated as valedictorian.

I had friends, I was well-liked, and people saw me as a professional. If there was a big project happening (I went to film school), I was always one of the first to be asked to be on the team and help produce it. I did all of this while juggling multiple jobs because I was putting myself through school.

But while being #lifegoals on the outside, I was falling apart on the inside.

I always had some mild health issues, aside from a full on collapse I had at 17, but these issues started to build while I was in college, and I was so good at ignoring them.

Migraine? Painkillers on the way.

Exhaustion? More coffee, please.

Sharp, stabbing back and neck pain? Just work on your laptop lying down. It’s fine.

Neglecting myself and suppressing my needs were easy for me. I had an entire childhood of practice.

There was always so much stress in my childhood that I got used to suppressing what I really wanted in favor of what was needed for survival.

I kept going like this into motherhood. I had just become a mom of 2, and I just couldn’t hack it anymore.

I was so anxious, I struggled to breathe.

I was so depressed, I didn’t want to be alive.

I was in so much constant pain that was so debilitating that I couldn’t get out of bed without pain medicine.

Why am I telling you this deeply personal story?

Honestly, because I hope you don’t wait until you’ve had a complete collapse to realize how important your health, happiness, and well-being are to every area of your life and to the people you love.

I hope you can see that sacrificing your needs and desires for the approval of others or to follow a belief system that is ultimately harmful to you is not a way to live. You don’t need to live like that. Really.

3 years ago. I was at breaking point. My kids were two and 3 months old. I was also a full-time caregiver of my brother who has Autism, and he had a serious medical condition that required constant care.

When I had my collapse several years ago, I could barely take care of my kids and had to hire more help than I could afford to make sure they were taken care of. I had to quit my job because I couldn’t keep up with it. I had no energy for my marriage or other relationships.

I was in survival mode every single day until my body was done trying to survive. I had run out of capacity, and I was ready to quit.

So far in my life, I have spent thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours working to pull myself out of that dark place and to heal myself one tiny step at a time.

Therapy, coaching, reading dozens of books, journaling, learning, unlearning, questioning, setting boundaries, letting go of toxic relationships and belief systems, naming my trauma, and calling stuff out…

It’s been work. It’s been hard work. But the alternative — neglecting my true self to appease others until I collapse? I’m not doing that anymore. My kids and my husband deserve a healthier, happier version of me, and so do I.

Back at dance class, honoring my desires, 9 years later.

This work is why I’m finally doing what I love. It’s why I’m dancing again. It’s why I feel hopeful for my future and positive about my life again.

We often focus on the cost of changing things. After all, making changes can cost money, time, and energy, and it’s scary. But what’s the cost of keeping everything the same?

I kept everything the same for so long. I was a dutiful, reliable daughter and friend, people-pleasing and putting myself last all the time because I thought it was the right thing to do, and it brought me to a breaking point that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

While I’ve made the most visible strides in my healing over the last 3 years, my journey really began 8 years ago when I admitted to myself and others that I was abused, and shortly after that, I started to go to therapy.

Ultimately though, it was becoming a mom and breaking down completely that pushed me to make a real commitment to getting whatever help I needed and motivated me to make hard decisions that ensured that my health, happiness, and well-being were prioritized.

A couple months ago on my morning walk, still going through some struggles, but thriving at a level I haven’t in a long time. :)

I’ve learned so much along my journey, and I’ve created a program that is a culmination of my 8 years of experience to help other women go on their own healing journeys too so that they can experience the empowerment and relief that comes from living a life that honors what you want and need to be happy, healthy, and whole.

My program is called The No Longer Last Journey, and it’s available now. But if you’re not sure if you want to join the complete program, I’ve made the biggest class of the program available for only $47.

This class, the Introduction to the Healing Journey (normally $97), has everything you need to know to begin your own healing journey for a super discounted price of $47. I really wanted to offer some of my best work at a discounted price so you can get started with what you have available to you. 

If you’re curious about it, please go check it out. It’s an amazing resource that has already helped several of my clients create real changes in their lives. Go see for yourself.

One final thought before I wrap up…

I really wish 18-year-old Mia had someone in her life to tell her, “You don’t need to save your family. It’s safe to take care of you.”

It would have given me the permission I needed to break out of fear and actually make a choice that honored what I really wanted and needed.

I think it would have spared me a lot of pain and hurt and years of rebuilding myself (which I’m still doing, btw. It’s all a work in progress, ya know?).

So, I want to take a minute to say, thank you for reading my words. Thank you for holding space for my story. I really appreciate you.

And, please hear me when I say that it’s really beautiful how much you love and care for others, and while it feels contrary to everything you’ve been taught, the best way to love and care for other people is really to love and care for yourself first. Only you can do that for you. And when you do that for you, you’ll walk though the world happier, healthier, and whole, which is the real blessing we all need.

It’s safe for you to prioritize your health, happiness, and well-being.

It’s safe, it’s safe, it’s safe.

I’m sending you love. See you next time.

— Mia ♡

Ready to make your health, happiness, and well-being a priority?

Get my signature class, the Introduction to the Healing Journey (normally $97), for $47! You’ll learn the concepts, tools, and strategies that myself and my clients use to prioritize our health, happiness, and well-being in our daily lives.